AVP v. Perfect Dark, No Contest

AVP is by far the worst movie I have ever made the mistake of spending money on. I rented the DVD on the first day it came out in Japan and changed the region on my Toshiba's DVD player. Never have I made so great a movie effort for such a small reward. Even standing in line for hours for Episodes I and II was a bigger pay off (and that is saying something). Alien and Predator were two great movies (and the sequels were entertaining too- Game Over, man, Game Over!). But when you put them together, nada. It took about 40 minutes for anything remotely interesting to happen and even that just felt like gratuitous violence.

What makes a great horror movie is characters you grow to care about, good monsters, and dire situations. When you like the characters it creates a dynamic tension, you are rooting for the underdogs in a game where the losers are likely to get eaten (or made into hosts, ew). Good monsters keep you interested and usually keep you guessing. What are their motives? Where did they come from? How will the filmmakers get us to suspend our disbelief? And dire situations, well, that one is just self explanatory.

I didn't like anyone in AVP. Lex was the only even remotely likeable character, and even she was no Ellen Ripley. The Italian guy was lukewarm, Bishop was way too old, the construction guys were grinning idiots, and the scientists were almost like parodies of themselves. It is possible that the movie could have been saved by stunning dialog, but that sure didn't happen. They were trying to create a feeling of warmth and interest between Lex and the Italian guy, but I have seen drunk college freshman having more meaningful and interesting conversations. I was truly saddened by this cheapening of my favorite monsters. It was worse that Alien resurrection, which was truly a heartbreaking thing to see.

Now compare this to the recent Vin Diesel flick, Perfect Dark. Let's be honest, this was a cinematic masterpiece on the same level of Harold and Kumar. But it did have the three elements that make that special horror magic.

The characters were interesting and human. Fry was a real person with weaknesses dramatically illustrated throughout the movie. We could like her because she wasn't a hero, but she grew to be one. Her dilemma is everyman's. Riddeck, besides Vin Diesel being extremely fine, he was cool. A badass criminal with glowing eyes and a bad reputation. Seeing his human side gradually emerge made us like him. He felt real, even if it was in a comic-book sense of the word. We liked Jack even if he was annoying at times, and we could understand the hero worship he felt for Riddick. And let's not forget Claudia Black, she may play comic-book style characters, but she is still cool.

So we like the people. We spent the movie rooting for them to make it out with their combination of guts and smarts. We didn't sit there and hope for them to die in some way that would redeem the movie (AVP). They all continued to change throughout the movie, and that made them continue being interesting. And they worked well together, we could suspend disbelief pretty easily.

The monsters, well, were pretty marginal. They were computer generated Aliens that didn't have much personality. But since most of the movie took place in darkness and their primary aspect was to be the "fear in the dark" we can forgive them. Plus they were pretty cool when they moved and felt satisfyingly sinister. The situation, crashed on a desolate planet with only one way off, is a good one. It may be frequently done but at least this time it has some jazz to it. It was a suitable landscape for the plot, and we salute the film makers for their efforts. (The sequel though is not quite as good.)